Sigh

Geez, where do I begin? It's been so busy and crazy in our house the past week, it all seems like a blur. I'll try to break it down in my head, so I can at least give highlights of what's been going on.

Zach just finished his second week of kindergarten, and you can say the honeymoon is fading. He's still doing wonderful, loving his classmates and teacher, but the toll of getting up early each day & going to school everyday (versus his Tues/Thurs schedule of pre-k) has worn him thin. He's not being grouchy or acting out, he's just fragile. The exhaustion of his new schedule and how mentally engaged he has to be all day has made him very easily upset. Not temper tantrums or anything like that, but more like whimpering in the mornings when Daddy wakes him up. Or asking me if we can have a talk in his bed before he goes to sleep, so he can tell me how hard this new schedule is through big, glassy eyes. Poor little guy. He's keeping his chin up and trying to put on a brave face, but you can easily tell he's barely hanging on right now.   Last Friday was a small disaster, because he misunderstood the fact that Mommy was going to house-sit with Amy, and apparently thought I was moving out.  THAT'S how tired he is - he jumbled that one up pretty good.  To make things better?  He told his teacher and his school counselor this!  YES!  Aaron got a phone call from the counselor, letting us know Zachary was in her office crying and upset because Mommy was moving out today.  UM, yeah.  Aaron explained that he seemed to be confused and that I was house-sitting, etc.  We met up at the school a little early so we could go redeem ourselves to his counselor and teacher.  Gah!  That was mortifying.  We hope they believed us, so they don't feel the need to keep an eye on our son all year, feeling pity for the poor blonde kid who's parents can't hold their marriage together.  [smacking forehead]

I'm happy to say though, he's absolutely flourishing in his new class, and he's so proud of what he's accomplished so far. Just yesterday, he was the only kid in his class to earn five check-marks behind his name (check-marks are rewarded for good behavior), therefore his teacher gave him a "super kid" sticker for his homeroom folder. This elated him! He talked about it all night, boasting about what he did to earn such a prestigious honor. Once Daddy actually gets him moving and grooving into his day, he ends up doing just fine and really enjoying himself. When I pick him up, he goes on and on about how much fun he had and what he & his new friends discussed all day. The second day of school, he and this little boy named Kwa (we aren't sure how to spell it yet, but it's pronounced "kwah") became soul-mates at the discovery of their shared love of Transformers. Then Wednesday, he and Alex bonded, but Zach was quick to explain it wasn't over Transformers. Apparently, Alex knows nothing about those, but indeed knows vast amounts of information about Star Wars. (Oh, to be six again.) Then I heard yesterday, that Zach, Kwa, Alex, Jacob, Elijah, and Anthony all put their hands into a huddle, like a team, and shouted "gooooooo FRIENDS!" as they raised their hands in the air. He thought this was fantastic, and is loving the fact that he has five new friends. The funniest part about that story was Zach saying, "Mommy, there's an ANTHONY in my class! ANTHONY!! Like your Anthony Bourdain! I'm gonna say "No Reservations" to Anthony and see if he knows what I mean". Ahhh, the little tike is even trying to equate his kindergarten stories to things he knows Mommy loves. But, I doubt his Anthony will know much, if anything, about my Anthony. There's always time for that later ...

So, I guess you could say the other shoe has dropped, but it was still better than it could've been. At least he's not gripping onto his father every time he's dropped off at school, or getting beat up every day. He's just worn out and learning how to cope with the biggest transition in his life, to date. He melted Daddy's heart the other morning, when he said that he missed the days when they just hung out together until Mommy got home from work. Awwww, I know Daddy misses that too. Zach will never know just how much. But we've made some adjustments to help him cope with his new hurdles in life ... we told him we could talk about his feelings whenever he felt sad, and we also backed his bedtime up by 30 minutes. Both have seemed to help a bit. He described Monday to me as a "dark tunnel", but that he was proud to say he got through it. Quite prophetic for an almost-six-year-old, no? By today, I asked him about the dark tunnel again for an update, and he said it wasn't dark anymore. Just dim. I swear, he amazes me on a daily basis.

Other than teaching my son coping skills for daily crap you can't get out of doing, I've still been up to my eyeballs in work & so has Aaron. It's been a draining, tough week for the Lawsons, but we made it through! Zach leaned on us, Aaron leaned on me, I leaned on Aaron, & we helped each other through the crap. That's the point I was trying to get Zach to understand tonight -- that's what families do. My car battery also died this week, which added to the stress-level and "fun" of being alive, but I tried to look on the bright side ... at least it was ONLY my battery. It's finally Friday and we're all looking forward to a relaxing 3-day weekend. One event planned is Zach's early birthday party, which has eternally confused him. Note to self: never again have a birthday party before his actual birthday. He has tried hard to understand why we're having a party before he actually turns 6, but he doesn't understand things like not being able to have it on a school night because no one will come. He finally just asked me "so, it's like a fake birthday?" And I gave up and said yes. Does that make me a bad Mom? He seemed satisfied with that explanation, so I just let him think it. Either way, it'll be nice to be all together, laughing, eating bad things, and making memories ... fake birthday or not.

More later, as I'm sure I've written enough to put most of you in a coma by now. Sorry ... I type fast. More information gets out in a short span of time, so I could easily write a novel. I'll post pictures soon of his "fake birthday", as well as his "real birthday" on Wednesday. Until next time ...