Kindergarten

It's a little after 6:00am, and the boys are still asleep.  The whole house is quiet, aside from my A/C already kicking on and my dog snoring on the couch behind me.  In about 45 minutes, my guys be getting up to join me on this big day.  Zach's first day of kindergarten.  [deep breath]  Please, Lord, prop me up through this day.

A lot of people have asked how we're holding up, and to be honest, I think we're doing quite well.  I can't say today won't be emotional once we've dropped him off for his big day, but for the time being, we are pillars of strength.  (Ok, maybe not pillars, but we've held it together.)  We've done all the orientations, meetings with his teacher, visits to the school ... we've labeled every school supply, signed every emergency care form, and laid out his outfit of choice.  Now, all we have to do is drive him over there and hope he will go in with the same great attitude he's had about this all along.  Please, Lord, don't let him be too scared.

They say cliches are cliches because they are true.  Well, the "time flies when you're having fun" cliche has never seemed more true than this moment.  When faced with big-boy school, it's hard not to go through the flip-book in your mind of when he was first born, took his first steps, and when he formed his first sentences.  We lucked-out when it came to babies; he's been special since the first day we met him.  Early on, he started showing us who he was going to be, and has stayed true to form all these years.  Very talkative, always a ham, very stubborn, and absolutely hilarious.  I have no doubt he will make friends and simply shine in kindergarten, so that makes this day easier.  The not-so-easy part is knowing he's growing up & letting go a little in his own way, which means I'm supposed to do the same thing.   But, he's our little buddy!  It's tough to watch your little man go out into the big, bad world and just hope for the best.  You pray that you've done enough and taught enough to get them through the crap they are about to stumble upon.  Please, Lord, keep him safe & help lead him while he's away from us.

Zach has always asked me if he'll always be my baby.  It's almost become kind of a game at this point, and it goes something like this:

Zach:  "Mommy, will I still be your baby when I'm 12?"

Me:  "Yup!  You'll still be my baby when you're 12."

Zach:  "Will I still be your baby when I'm 27?"

Me:  "You bet!  Even when you're 27."

Zach:  "Will I still be your baby when I'm 85?"

Me:  "Well, at that point, I'll be dead, but you'll still be my baby!"

And then we laugh.  There's another version of this game, which is the "I will still love you" game.  That one usually goes like this:

Me:  "I love you."

Zach:  "I love you too, Mommy.  And I'll love you even when I'm 8."

Me:  "Wow, really?  Will you still love me when you're 10?"

Zach:  "Yup!  I promise.  Mommy, I'll even love you when I'm SIXTEEN."  (He always says the age very exaggerated, as if to imply he already knows how much he'll despise me at sixteen and he's trying to make me feel better ahead of time.)

Me:  "No way!  You'll still love me when you're SIXTEEN?!"

Zach:  "Even when I'm 23.  I'll always love you, Mommy."

[Sigh.]  These are the moments I'm going to miss when he starts getting "too old" to goof around with Mom like this.  And apparently, at the rate that time is flying by, that isn't far off.  I'm so lucky I've had the chance to be his Mommy.  He has made me want to be a better, more refined version of myself, and for that, I'm grateful.  I'll tell him some day how much he has taught me, just by being here.  Thank you, Lord, for giving us the gift our son.

I just heard Aaron's alarm go off, so I guess it's officially time to put this day into motion.  I'm going to be armed with my camera, as always, to document this big day.  I will try to post some pictures very soon, and keep everyone updated on how the first day went.  Please say a little prayer for our small fry, that he has a smooth transition into his big, new school "with that awesome playground."  (He's obsessed with it!)  And please say a little prayer for me & Aaron, that we'll have a smooth transition into this new phase of parenting.  It's a whole different ball game from here on out ... let the games begin!

[deep breath]