Sigh

Geez, where do I begin? It's been so busy and crazy in our house the past week, it all seems like a blur. I'll try to break it down in my head, so I can at least give highlights of what's been going on.

Zach just finished his second week of kindergarten, and you can say the honeymoon is fading. He's still doing wonderful, loving his classmates and teacher, but the toll of getting up early each day & going to school everyday (versus his Tues/Thurs schedule of pre-k) has worn him thin. He's not being grouchy or acting out, he's just fragile. The exhaustion of his new schedule and how mentally engaged he has to be all day has made him very easily upset. Not temper tantrums or anything like that, but more like whimpering in the mornings when Daddy wakes him up. Or asking me if we can have a talk in his bed before he goes to sleep, so he can tell me how hard this new schedule is through big, glassy eyes. Poor little guy. He's keeping his chin up and trying to put on a brave face, but you can easily tell he's barely hanging on right now.   Last Friday was a small disaster, because he misunderstood the fact that Mommy was going to house-sit with Amy, and apparently thought I was moving out.  THAT'S how tired he is - he jumbled that one up pretty good.  To make things better?  He told his teacher and his school counselor this!  YES!  Aaron got a phone call from the counselor, letting us know Zachary was in her office crying and upset because Mommy was moving out today.  UM, yeah.  Aaron explained that he seemed to be confused and that I was house-sitting, etc.  We met up at the school a little early so we could go redeem ourselves to his counselor and teacher.  Gah!  That was mortifying.  We hope they believed us, so they don't feel the need to keep an eye on our son all year, feeling pity for the poor blonde kid who's parents can't hold their marriage together.  [smacking forehead]

I'm happy to say though, he's absolutely flourishing in his new class, and he's so proud of what he's accomplished so far. Just yesterday, he was the only kid in his class to earn five check-marks behind his name (check-marks are rewarded for good behavior), therefore his teacher gave him a "super kid" sticker for his homeroom folder. This elated him! He talked about it all night, boasting about what he did to earn such a prestigious honor. Once Daddy actually gets him moving and grooving into his day, he ends up doing just fine and really enjoying himself. When I pick him up, he goes on and on about how much fun he had and what he & his new friends discussed all day. The second day of school, he and this little boy named Kwa (we aren't sure how to spell it yet, but it's pronounced "kwah") became soul-mates at the discovery of their shared love of Transformers. Then Wednesday, he and Alex bonded, but Zach was quick to explain it wasn't over Transformers. Apparently, Alex knows nothing about those, but indeed knows vast amounts of information about Star Wars. (Oh, to be six again.) Then I heard yesterday, that Zach, Kwa, Alex, Jacob, Elijah, and Anthony all put their hands into a huddle, like a team, and shouted "gooooooo FRIENDS!" as they raised their hands in the air. He thought this was fantastic, and is loving the fact that he has five new friends. The funniest part about that story was Zach saying, "Mommy, there's an ANTHONY in my class! ANTHONY!! Like your Anthony Bourdain! I'm gonna say "No Reservations" to Anthony and see if he knows what I mean". Ahhh, the little tike is even trying to equate his kindergarten stories to things he knows Mommy loves. But, I doubt his Anthony will know much, if anything, about my Anthony. There's always time for that later ...

So, I guess you could say the other shoe has dropped, but it was still better than it could've been. At least he's not gripping onto his father every time he's dropped off at school, or getting beat up every day. He's just worn out and learning how to cope with the biggest transition in his life, to date. He melted Daddy's heart the other morning, when he said that he missed the days when they just hung out together until Mommy got home from work. Awwww, I know Daddy misses that too. Zach will never know just how much. But we've made some adjustments to help him cope with his new hurdles in life ... we told him we could talk about his feelings whenever he felt sad, and we also backed his bedtime up by 30 minutes. Both have seemed to help a bit. He described Monday to me as a "dark tunnel", but that he was proud to say he got through it. Quite prophetic for an almost-six-year-old, no? By today, I asked him about the dark tunnel again for an update, and he said it wasn't dark anymore. Just dim. I swear, he amazes me on a daily basis.

Other than teaching my son coping skills for daily crap you can't get out of doing, I've still been up to my eyeballs in work & so has Aaron. It's been a draining, tough week for the Lawsons, but we made it through! Zach leaned on us, Aaron leaned on me, I leaned on Aaron, & we helped each other through the crap. That's the point I was trying to get Zach to understand tonight -- that's what families do. My car battery also died this week, which added to the stress-level and "fun" of being alive, but I tried to look on the bright side ... at least it was ONLY my battery. It's finally Friday and we're all looking forward to a relaxing 3-day weekend. One event planned is Zach's early birthday party, which has eternally confused him. Note to self: never again have a birthday party before his actual birthday. He has tried hard to understand why we're having a party before he actually turns 6, but he doesn't understand things like not being able to have it on a school night because no one will come. He finally just asked me "so, it's like a fake birthday?" And I gave up and said yes. Does that make me a bad Mom? He seemed satisfied with that explanation, so I just let him think it. Either way, it'll be nice to be all together, laughing, eating bad things, and making memories ... fake birthday or not.

More later, as I'm sure I've written enough to put most of you in a coma by now. Sorry ... I type fast. More information gets out in a short span of time, so I could easily write a novel. I'll post pictures soon of his "fake birthday", as well as his "real birthday" on Wednesday. Until next time ...

A success!

I am happy to report that Zach's first day of kindergarten was a success! Hooray! We were able to go with him today and hang out for about 45 minutes before they made all the parents leave. The teacher & her aide took the kids on a walking tour of the campus, and we parents got to follow along. I'll admit that I was like paparazzi during this walking tour, but I didn't "snap" alone. ALL the Mommies were doing it, and all the Daddies were laughing at us. It was actually pretty fun.

He only looked a little nervous when it was time for us to go, and he knew he was on his own. His teacher, Mrs. Fegley, announced that all the kids could hug & kiss their parents good-bye, and we'd be back later to pick them up around lunchtime. He kept a brave face, though I could tell he seemed uneasy, and he walked in his classroom with his peers and never looked back. What a trooper!

Aaron and I were both there, as well, to pick him up from his first day, and he was ecstatic! He showed us something he made, as well as his first "reward" sticker. (The kids get a sticker if they are good that day, then after 10 stickers, they can pick out a toy from the class treasure chest.) We took him to lunch at a place of his choice (of course, it was McDonald's), and he told us about things he learned and activities they had during the day. They read stories, listened to music, did some art, and learned the house rules for the classroom, playground, and bathroom. Oh, and I should note here that he was VERY excited about them having a bathroom inside of their classroom. He's such a guy.

He said none of the kids really talked to each other, but I told him that was normal for the first day. Everyone has to get their footing before they start really caring about who's sitting next to them. He did say there was one kid in his class that was a "turd", because he cut in front of him in line. He said when he called this kid out on it, the boy said "So ... I don't care." He then shook his head and waved his finger in the air after telling me this. He's so funny. He added then that he was going to have to "keep an eye on this one." My kid is amazing.

I, of course, have tons of pictures to post, so I hope you enjoy looking through them all. The first set are from our "meet & greet" on Sunday evening, then the second set is from today. I'll try to differentiate the two:

The "meet & greet", Sunday, August 17th

Getting ready to meet his teacher

The class kitchen

The class computers

The board where the kids are rewarded for good behavior & disciplined for bad behavior

What's a kindergarten room without a play kitchen?

Where they can sit down to "eat" what they "cooked".

The kids were told to find their names on the tables, and sit down to enjoy the toys on the table. He did just that.

His mind was blown that they had Legos sitting at his desk. I had to make sure he understood they wouldn't be there every day.

The children's cubbies.

Even his cubby is cute.

The media/play room.

The other side of the media/play room.

The beloved bathroom.

A glimpse of his teacher, Mrs. Fegley. (In the black & white)

Daddy going to see what he made.

I told him to smile, and I got this. Niiiiice.

At first site of the playground, he took off running.

Of course, first thing he does is start climbing up as high as he can go.

One side of the giant soccer fields.

The other side.

A fence like this one encloses the entire giant playground/soccer fields. Fences like these make Mommy very happy.

He calls this the "octagon-thingy."

What a goofball.

Why should kids have all the fun?

A sweaty, but happy little guy. That is, until I told him it was time to go home.

So, that was our first trip to visit his classroom, talk with his teacher, and let him become acclamated with his surroundings. It went well, and made him very excited for his first day. Here are the first day of school shots:

I told him to smile, and he did this. Pretty chipper for getting up at 6:45am.

I asked him for a normal pose, for the grandparents. He delivered.

Coming out of his classroom, ready for the walking tour.

Um, he's so much bigger than his classmates!

Mrs. Fegley, explaining what was about to happen.

Hope he enjoys how tall he is at this point, compared to his peers. If you've ever seen me, Aaron, or either of our parents, you know it won't last long.

"Hi Mom!"

Hamming it up, as always.

My sweet angel.

Notice how he's the only blonde boy in his class.

Mrs. Fegley & her aide (Mrs. Howard) rallying the troops to go inside, after they just told the parents our time was up.

Going inside to start their first day. When that door shut is when I shed a tear or two.

From his teacher. Hooray!!

As you can see, things went pretty smoothly. I decided not to take a bunch of pictures when we picked him up, as he was probably tired of seeing my camera perched in front of my face. It was a huge day, but a good day, and that's all we were hoping for.

Let me say thank you, before I close, to all my friends and family. I have the best friends a girl could ask for. So many of you emailed, called, and texted me to see how Zach was, and to also see how I was holding up. You all are the best, and I love you. I probably would've had a much more emotional day if it hadn't been for all of you being so sweet & supportive. You all ROCK!

I will update again soon, and let you know how the week finished out.

Until next time ...

Kindergarten

It's a little after 6:00am, and the boys are still asleep.  The whole house is quiet, aside from my A/C already kicking on and my dog snoring on the couch behind me.  In about 45 minutes, my guys be getting up to join me on this big day.  Zach's first day of kindergarten.  [deep breath]  Please, Lord, prop me up through this day.

A lot of people have asked how we're holding up, and to be honest, I think we're doing quite well.  I can't say today won't be emotional once we've dropped him off for his big day, but for the time being, we are pillars of strength.  (Ok, maybe not pillars, but we've held it together.)  We've done all the orientations, meetings with his teacher, visits to the school ... we've labeled every school supply, signed every emergency care form, and laid out his outfit of choice.  Now, all we have to do is drive him over there and hope he will go in with the same great attitude he's had about this all along.  Please, Lord, don't let him be too scared.

They say cliches are cliches because they are true.  Well, the "time flies when you're having fun" cliche has never seemed more true than this moment.  When faced with big-boy school, it's hard not to go through the flip-book in your mind of when he was first born, took his first steps, and when he formed his first sentences.  We lucked-out when it came to babies; he's been special since the first day we met him.  Early on, he started showing us who he was going to be, and has stayed true to form all these years.  Very talkative, always a ham, very stubborn, and absolutely hilarious.  I have no doubt he will make friends and simply shine in kindergarten, so that makes this day easier.  The not-so-easy part is knowing he's growing up & letting go a little in his own way, which means I'm supposed to do the same thing.   But, he's our little buddy!  It's tough to watch your little man go out into the big, bad world and just hope for the best.  You pray that you've done enough and taught enough to get them through the crap they are about to stumble upon.  Please, Lord, keep him safe & help lead him while he's away from us.

Zach has always asked me if he'll always be my baby.  It's almost become kind of a game at this point, and it goes something like this:

Zach:  "Mommy, will I still be your baby when I'm 12?"

Me:  "Yup!  You'll still be my baby when you're 12."

Zach:  "Will I still be your baby when I'm 27?"

Me:  "You bet!  Even when you're 27."

Zach:  "Will I still be your baby when I'm 85?"

Me:  "Well, at that point, I'll be dead, but you'll still be my baby!"

And then we laugh.  There's another version of this game, which is the "I will still love you" game.  That one usually goes like this:

Me:  "I love you."

Zach:  "I love you too, Mommy.  And I'll love you even when I'm 8."

Me:  "Wow, really?  Will you still love me when you're 10?"

Zach:  "Yup!  I promise.  Mommy, I'll even love you when I'm SIXTEEN."  (He always says the age very exaggerated, as if to imply he already knows how much he'll despise me at sixteen and he's trying to make me feel better ahead of time.)

Me:  "No way!  You'll still love me when you're SIXTEEN?!"

Zach:  "Even when I'm 23.  I'll always love you, Mommy."

[Sigh.]  These are the moments I'm going to miss when he starts getting "too old" to goof around with Mom like this.  And apparently, at the rate that time is flying by, that isn't far off.  I'm so lucky I've had the chance to be his Mommy.  He has made me want to be a better, more refined version of myself, and for that, I'm grateful.  I'll tell him some day how much he has taught me, just by being here.  Thank you, Lord, for giving us the gift our son.

I just heard Aaron's alarm go off, so I guess it's officially time to put this day into motion.  I'm going to be armed with my camera, as always, to document this big day.  I will try to post some pictures very soon, and keep everyone updated on how the first day went.  Please say a little prayer for our small fry, that he has a smooth transition into his big, new school "with that awesome playground."  (He's obsessed with it!)  And please say a little prayer for me & Aaron, that we'll have a smooth transition into this new phase of parenting.  It's a whole different ball game from here on out ... let the games begin!

[deep breath]

Once again, it's been a while ...

... and if any of you have known me for the last 8 years, you know why.  I'm officially in hell, as far as work goes, and my life is consumed with crap I have to get done before August 21.  I apologize for disappearing on here, but between going to the gym before work, my job, recently caring for a sick kid, the heat, and the housework, I barely find time to sleep - let alone blog.  Forgive me, everyone.  (I must insert kudos here to my husband, who had the day off today & spent it cleaning and vacuuming the house so I would come home to a sparkling palace.  He knows how to turn a woman on ...)

Here's an example of something that was written on a collective "to do" list for our maintenance supervisor over the weekend:

This gives you some idea of the crap we are dealing with on a daily basis.  In a nutshell, we have over 750 students at my property alone, and over half of them moved out over the weekend.  Sounds like no big deal, right?  WRONG.  That means just as many kids will be arriving on August 22 to take their places.  In the mean time, our staff has endless rooms to clean, paint, repair, and apparently remove stripper poles from.  College kids suck.

On top of the chaos that is my workplace, with staff running around like crazy and vendors infiltrating like an army of worker ants, I have to do all the accounting.  And not just for my property, but our sister property as well.  That means rectifying and closing out accounts of hundreds upon hundreds of people, keeping track of who still owes me money, who I owe money to, and who needs money transferred around because they are switching units.  After I get that done, I have to then move-in and adjust all the NEW people coming to our properties on August 22, and make sure their account information looks neat & pretty upon their arrival.  That way, when Joe Schmo arrives with his folks from Podunk, TX and asks how much money they owe, any member of our staff should be able to look up their name and give them the correct answer (if I've done my job right).  I have a total of about three weeks to get all of this work done, and it's never enough time.  Next week my dear, sweet husband took the entire week off from work so he could be the primary caretaker of our kid.  I will be at the gym at the ass-crack of dawn, then in my cave of an office for about 13 hours (or longer) each day.  Needless to say, this time of year not only pisses me off because of the heat, but because I have no life.

So, that's a brief summary of why you haven't seen me on here, and why you probably won't again until the end of the month.  We Lawsons are doing well, and have taken a couple of fun excursions since I wrote last, but I'm afraid I won't have the time to get all the info up at the moment.  Thank God I type fast, or else this wouldn't have been posted, either.

I send out hugs and ice-cold A/C to all of you - two things life just isn't worth living if you don't have.  More later.  I SWEAR!  xoxo